Happieness is a choice

I’m going to ask that you please stop dying. February 26, 2011

Filed under: So you could say... — GabrialGrewOnUp @ 4:51 am

** A different note to the readers of my blog, this post doesn’t have my usual cheeriness, but after reading it I hope you can understand why.

Yeah, to begin this off stop dying on me family and friends. My death quota for the year it’s full – one person every blue moon that’s it. Not almost two people within a few days of each other, it doesn’t work that way.

For all of you wondering what that’s – this – is all about; my friend Amelia (who suffered from epilepsy) had a seizure in her sleep that she never woke up from. It was really hard to deal with because she wasn’t that much older than me and I found myself at a lose. That’s what everyone kept saying to. “I’m sorry for your lose” or “I’m sorry for the families lose.” That’s not right, I mean sure they lost a family member or a really good friend, but what about Amelia why does no one ever apologize for her lose, I mean she’s never going to grow any older, never going to get married, or have kids. She was just barely an adult, had hardly enough time to live but at the same time had lived her whole life already. For the religious people in my life they just kept repeating “well god has a plan” or “it was her time.” but it’s never a time for a 19-year-old girl to die. She was just getting out there – making a change in the world.

This post is just a distraction, but I guess that’s what I’m doing – what Idid really; keeping myself busy, never slowing down long enough to actually think , trying to remain myself for the sake of appearance. I’m pretty good at that, but the day after Amelia’s funeral I came home to find my mum was gone – where I didn’t know. So I texted her like any mum loving teen who got home late and just wants dinner would do. She was in Owen sound, my Great Gran had been rushed to the hospital during the night, she had a chest infection and earlier that morning had a silent heart attack. My world came crashing down around me at this point.

With Amelia’s death, keeping up with school work, talking with my friend’s and preparing for the musical I found that I just couldn’t deal with anything else on top of that, so hearing that my Great Gran might be going to join a couple of my close friend’s was no the best thing to hear that night. Now many of my friend’s noticed that I wasn’t at school yesterday, I know my Footloose cast members sure did. And that’s because I took what is now being refered to as my “Personal day.” I didn’t stay home and do homework like I promised my dad I would do. Instead I cleaned the house, ate really unhealthy food that I am most definitely not regretting and watched hour upon hour of Criminal Mind episodes. Granted watching a tv show about people being killed, or kidnapped is probably not the best idea of relaxation most of you have in your mind it really helped to mellow me out.

I was much better today, my mum has returned home, my Great Gran is on observation over the weekend but if she continues to be stable they plan on releasing her Tuesday. What I guess this whole blog post was really about is that at the assembly this morning he said not to keep your emotions boxed in, and while I tend to do this and vent to myself in blog posts that never actually make it to the posting stage I figured for once, I might let one slip through my cracks.


This is what happens when they give us freedom. February 21, 2011

Filed under: So you could say... — GabrialGrewOnUp @ 5:08 am

Alright, so the titles is a little misleading, freedom – who’s giving you freedom? Is it your parents? Do you get to do things? Well the answers to those questions would be; The Education system, No, and Sure?

Alright, beginning with the education system; When you take a course online you expect it to be a little bit different then how you are used to things but I have to say that I like it a lot better than normal classes. Alright, sure, I’m just taking the one course and if I were taking all of my courses online then I would probably have a different opinion, but with just the one course online I find that I like not having to worry about doing work all throughout the week. I can log on anytime I want, anytime I have a free 15 minutes and work on getting everything done – that’s something you can’t do with a normal class. Just pop in for 15 minutes around 3 in the morning, I’m pretty sure any teacher would not be pleased. But here it is the end to the second week of my online course and I actually enjoyed doing all the work.

Now granted that it is a bit more difficult especially when your life gets busy and logging on to do more work just doesn’t seem like anything you want to do, there’s also the whole downside of being a verbal learner – sure you can read something over and over again and copy the words into your note-book but do you actually understand anything that you just read. Which is where the joy of freedom comes in. This morning I got together Katrina Mitchell with she’s a good friend of mine and I find that I truly enjoyed being able to work with her one on one. Where she didn’t understand more of the simple things and was over thinking stuff, I was able to understand what was happening. She was very useful however in the fact that I can’t draw a decent stick person and we were being asked to design t-shirts, so I was thankful to have her. Our minds worked perfectly together – surprising for two teenagers on a sunday morning – and whenever something didn’t fit for one the other was able to explain it. Now I know most of you are thinking – Woopdi froople doo, but hey, I like this online course so… NEH!

Next on to my parents and freedom as well as doing things, cause I guess that can all fit into the same  semi-coherent sentence. My parents are not that strict of parents, they expect us to get decent grades and to not be genius’ in everything – most importantly they’re pretty lax with the rules. Once I get my G2, I’m allowed to borrow the car as long as I ask first and it’s back in the driveway by 3 am – the time my dad goes to work. I agree with my parents on a lot of things, and we’re similar in some ways that it’s scary – I look a bit like my mom and share my dads same humor. The only thing I’m happy I didn’t get from them was their anger – They’re not super anger people but when I see them get mad over the stupidest things I just don’t understand where all this pent-up rage is coming from. Examples: A guy swerves in traffic; Yelling and swearing ensues. But guess what? He can’t hear you, the only person who can is me, and really his driving doesn’t affect you. Unless of course he swerves in front of us and causes a crash in which case go on with your bad self and yell.

I think I could go on forever with the little things that wind my parents up, but I think I’ll end on a happy note; something that everyone in my family enjoys – Really good humor at the expense of my mum. This next little bit is an actual event that happened a few Sundays ago while in the kitchen with my Mum and My sister Amy.

Mom: Don’t leave that in the oven to long, nothings worse than burnt garlic bread.
Me: Except maybe the Holocaust.
Amy: She’s got you there mom.

Needless to say my mom tried to save herself multiple times after this, but the rest of my family announced; I had won the battle AND the war.


We just can’t seem to grow up. February 12, 2011

Filed under: So you could say... — GabrialGrewOnUp @ 7:12 am

Hrmm, I was going to make this a heartfelt post, but I still can’t seem to do that. And so you’re getting another one of those blog post’s. You know the ones that don’t really seem important but in the back of your mind a little hobgoblin seems to agree with it.

Well today would be that day, this is my hobgoblin day, so don’t be alarmed. Recently I have begun to talk to a certain ex friend of mine… a certain ex boyfriend actually but that’s not to important – it’s just a buffer to explain the 3000 word facebook messages we send back and forth to each other. When responding to his message last night, I happened to read over a part that struck me as particularly interesting.

It was about his friend Tim who went on a Mormon Mission, He’s been in Paris for a year and a half and will be there for another year and a half. Ex-Boyfriend tried to convince him not to go because the two were very close, but in the end Tim made his choice. When talking about it at the time it just seemed that he really wanted to help people and would love any chance to do so, when in reality he didn’t want to be on his own.

High School was over and his parents were expecting him to move out into a dorm, or get a job and move into an apartment, both of those were not an option for Tim, and it’s been having me thinking. I’m just getting comfortable with High School, finally used to the time and the schedule, finally feeling like I’m the top dog – the alpha grade but by the end of the next school year my reign is over and it seems to all be ending way to fast.

Next year half of my friend’s are at college or university, the remaining half are torn between living at home and doing a fifth year, or getting a steady paying job and moving out on their own/with a group of friends. I know personally that one of my friend’s plans on moving to an apartment in Stratford, looking after herself, cleaning, working, making her own meals… I don’t think any of this would be a problem if her mother hadn’t held her back from learning important things like… How to use a STOVE!

I understand her mothers attempts at keeping her home longer, I know my parents would love it if I just went to work came home and looked after cleaning and dinner for the rest of the family, but that sounds more like a job within it’s self. I was taught how to use the stove, how to clean the house, how to do the basic needs to live on my own since a very young age. It wasn’t in preparation for anything – my parents just saw it as something I could do, and a time to bond.

Now, I know that a lot of people are afraid of growing up and moving on; it’s exciting but it’s terrifying at the same time. We don’t know what to expect and all we really want is a security net to fall back on.

There are people who are ready to burst out into the world, and do their own thing. But for me personally, well I’ll see you in the halls next year.


Gliding on Soapy Heels. February 5, 2011

Filed under: Rambles — GabrialGrewOnUp @ 4:46 am

I’m bored and therefor the only truly logical thing to do is Blog. Well not really, it’s actually probably a really bad idea cause it’s getting late and my posts never make any sense when I’m awake. But still I’m bored and this my audience makes me feel as though we’re having a conversation, cause you know – manly nose sniff- I’m feeling socially deprived.

That’s partly my fault, well not really “my” fault more my immune systems fault. See what happened is I’m usually a healthy person, but atleast once a year my body decides to screw me over and give me a week or so of being sick. Well this time my body decided that it really wanted to hate me, and it gave me this really nice little lung infection. Now to make matters clear, it’s not the lung infection that’s bad, in fact the lung infection is almost all cleared up. But now I have this awsome Throat Infection with is kinda worse, because my throats swollen and if I don’t take my anitbiotics and spend atleast 9 hours everyday with my humidifire I could stop breathing. Which is something that I don’t like, or plan on doing anytime soon.

For all of you who have a new humidifer or have never had the pleasure of having a humidifier, what it does is takes all the water that you have to pour into it, and turns it into a steady stream of airy water that it releases into your room, so that the air is always wet, and your throat never gets dry. It supposedly helps your lungs work better, but the only thing it seems to be sucessful at is soaking my floor with its settling water air and being probably the only thing more annoying than the keyboard typing I mentioned in my last post. I think it’s my humidifer though, it’s a really great and historical peice from the late 80’s that I’m pretty sure my parents recived as a baby shower gift for my older sister.

Wow, I’ve just paused to change my music – currently on a soothing playlist of people you have never heard of but something I will include links of at the bottom of this page – and realized that I’ve written almost a completly normal lengthed post on me being sick, that’s deffinetly not pleasent for you reader. Not pleasent at all. Well, lets try and prevent something like this from happening again. Give me suggestions for my next topic to write on?

Bless your face, if you sneezed while reading this, bless you – Toby Turner

Music Listening (I suggest listening to atleast the first two, if you like those continue on)