It is the age-old wonderful time where children come to your door and demand that you give them candy or they will pull a trick on you – a threat that I find empty – but today, last night and in weeks previous I’ve been thinking about a lot of random things and because I am currently on candy duty and the children in Tavistock are few I get large breaks and so this post has been born. Here are a few of the things I have been thinking about lately
A) When locking a door, if the door has a chain lock do you use it?
Because I know it helps if someone can open the bottom lock – because they either have a key or have stolen one – to have the chain that stops them from getting in(but I’m pretty sure if you kick the door it will break.) My only other thought about them is… They will FUCK YOU OVER if someone is already in the house.
We’ve seen it in most slasher flicks, the babysitter is running from the psycho killer (not giving a damn about the children of course) and she runs to the front door, trying to rip it open and BAMM chain lock, your dead. So do you use it or don’t you? As I was babysitting last night I realized I was going to use it to the point where I could keep the door shut if someone unlocked it but I could just flick the little chain and it would fall out of its slot, allowing me a quick exit from the house… my after thought was a little more realistic in the fact that if escaping the house, for any reason, I would have to go upstairs and wake the two sleeping toddlers I was watching, carry them down the stairs and THEN run out of the house.
B) Halloween is a crap time for heat attacks and zombie virus’
It’s true, if you were to be out trick or treating, or just taking your kids out, it would be the crappiest time for both. Of course if you’re with your kid’s they will most likely notice you having a heart attack or turning in to one of the undead but if you’re alone on Halloween and suddenly suffer from a heart attack, and your lying unconscious on somebody’s front lawn no ones going to think twice about you, you’re just an awesome life-like prop that those people happened to own. You could lie their for hours or possibly until morning before someone even thinks to take a closer inspection at you, so if you’re feeling particularly ill hearted, stay at home or close to people this holiday season… Now the undead, Halloween, zombie virus, CRAP TIMEING. Again no one’s going to think twice about a guy with a giant head wound covered in blood going on and on about brains, or just moaning in general. If you were to show up to a Halloween costume party you would win first place before eating someone’s arm. An entire town could be turned into an army of the undead and no one would think to catch on until the next morning – when Halloween’s over – and your neighbour is trying to eat your leg.
C) Myself being in a zombie attack
I would love to say that after watching countless zombie movies that I could defend myself from hoards of the undead by running around with a shot-gun and double tapping their brain’s out. But I’m not sure if I really would. IF the world were to be suddenly taken over by zombies I want to say I would like to be one of the few who survive the whole thing, or I’m some how immune but the fact of the matter is, I might kill myself, to me it’s all about the CONDITIONS.
If this is some type of situation where everyone who has recently died is coming back to life because heaven and hell (for those who believe) are full and that anyone bitten by them or who ingests their blood will in turn become a zombie, well if I kill myself I’m probably just going to come back as a zombie anyways… which I don’t want to do because I’ll kill some people and a survivor will end up shooting me in the face but really if it’s the whole incurable you die you and become zombie situation well I know eventually I will become a zombie, and I think, if I had to. I would like to do it on my own terms.
Now if we’re talking about the sort of thing where there’s the possibility of a cure.I would whole myself up on a fully stalked boat and just sail around with a radio until I get the a clear message that it’s safe to return… I don’t want to risk becoming a zombie or just being eaten alive by them so if at any point I we’re to run out of food and the whole “cure” situation was looking bleak I might end my life… it would suck because the minute afterwards I know they would find a cure but still I really just don’t want to become a zombie.
Well those are the things I have been thinking about recently, there random and slighty disturbing to say the least but I have to go give candy to the children. By the way! Useful tip; At Halloween children travel in packs, sorta like velociraptor. If you do not give them candy fast enough they “will” go for your ankles… also like velociraptors.